Healing Diary #2 self-awareness

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You have probably noticed that our minds operate in a certain way in terms of controlling our thoughts. Usually, the more we want to get rid of certain thoughts and replace them with others, the more those unwanted thoughts persist. On top of that, when you label certain thoughts as “wrong,” you also add the burden of judging yourself for having them.

So, instead of trying to control our thoughts, why don’t you try to become more aware of them? Trust me, though we may believe that we already know the contents of our mind well enough, there’s about an 85% chance that we’re lying to yourself. How come?

Well, we don’t see the unconscious thoughts precisely because they’re unconscious. In another word, we are prone to them. When we experience a thought that’s in alignment with the self-image we hold, there’s no doubt we will assume it to be true. As a result, we don’t become aware of that thought — we unconsciously integrate it to be a part of our reality.

Here are some practical ways of fishing out deeply buried thoughts and bringing them into the light of awareness:

1. Keeping note of thoughts related to negative feelings and coming up with coping mechanisms

Those negative thoughts don’t necessarily have to be  psychological difficulties. They can simply be the guilt of compulsively reaching for your phone without any concrete purpose.

2. Paying attention to strong emotions

Our thoughts and emotions are closely linked. Sometimes, they become so intertwined that we have trouble telling one from the other. The easiest way to do it is to focus on the physical feeling that comes with the emotion. Do you feel the heat in your chest when you experience anger? Then, move on what’s going on for you mentally. What thoughts are prompted by the feeling you’re having?

3. Taking a walk in nature

Our bodies are like plants. We need sun, water, and nature. Nature doesn’t add to your mental chatter and will allow you to see the content of your mind more clearly.

4. Setting a trigger to prompt attention to thoughts

It’s not the end of the world when something triggers us emotionally. However, it is important to identify our thoughts as we are exposed to the external trigger. Becoming aware of those thoughts will help you to better adapt and come up with coping mechanisms once the trigger goes off the next time. 

5. Identifying your judgments of other people

I do admit — I judge people all the time, both consciously and subconsciously. It can be small or big judgments, positive or negative ones — it doesn’t matter. What counts is that, instead of condemning yourself for being judgmental, you can deliberately observe your judgments as a way to foster the awareness of thoughts.Judgment is a natural thing we do to position ourselves within our family and social circles. It doesn’t need to be resented, though — it can be observed. If you pay attention to how you judge other people, you may realize a lot of interesting things that your mind does. Again, don’t judge your mind for judging. Instead, you can find gratitude for becoming more conscious of these thoughts rather than letting them pass unnoticed.

Instead of “changing your life by changing your thoughts,” simply notice them first. In my experience, becoming fully aware of something that doesn’t serve me leaves me no other option but to change it later on. These changes will be organic rather than forced.