trust issues

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Yesterday, my best friend called me, crying over her ex who recently broke up with her. To be honest, I saw it coming a long time ago. Once you lay your eyes on him, you can see that he’s a player. At the end, she claimed that the relationship is just not for her because she will forever have trust issues. The words, “Of course you have trust issues. Almost everyone who’s experienced a wounded heart has trust issues”, almost slipped out of my mouth.  We could argue that anyone who doesn’t want to be hurt has a degree of trust issues. They are protections for our vulnerability and excuses for our odd behaviors. 

On a different note, my mom also has trust issues. And they are mainly towards me. IN SPITE OF countless promises and deep conversations. Sometimes, she can’t trust me around food; other times, she can’t trust me in terms of fully getting rid of my addictions. However, the promises I made were sincere at the moment. There is no doubt that I crave for full recovery. That is something I have been working on for years. But can I predict the future? hell no… When those strong urges come, I try in vain to fight them off. Sometimes I win. Other times, they take over my mind completely, leaving me crawling on the ground, powerless to get back on my knees. Trust me, this is not an excuse for a relapse, but an honest thought that I wish everyone to hear.  

Nothing someone says or does in a current moment can guarantee the future. Circling back to my friend's story, love and risk of hurt go hand-in-hand and no one can control or predict whether or they will get hurt. Trust issues stem from the fear of pain and the rejection that comes with detachment. The only solution to this problem is to be okay with taking the risks. And it has to come from the heart. 

Be flexible with your situation. Embrace whatever is presented in front of you. You are no God. Nor can you wave your magic wand and turn everything in favors of you. The only thing you are capable of doing is change your mindset, and respect the decisions others make or how the circumstance plays out.