what's wrong with being nice

my short answer is: everything.

---

Nice is a term to describe someone who doesn't act their true self. They hide their true intentions to get what they want, typically breaking trusts and wrecking relationships along the way. They also manage their anxiety and need to please others in passive-aggressive ways. They have assumptions about what they’ll get back if they do something for someone else. That’s right. They’re not truly selfless. They give to get.

The descriptions sound familiar? Yes. I guess fake people branch off of nice people. However, there’s a difference. Nice people appear so perfect on the outside, but are rotten on the inside. They give so much, and are mad they don’t get enough back. They want to be appreciated, but they feel like they can never do enough. They wonder if it will ever be “their turn”, yet not actually doing much to achieve it. Nice people can be misleading and manipulative. 

“What’s wrong with being nice? Are you telling me I should be a jerk?” Oh, Hell no. Instead of headlessly being nice, start becoming someone who is assertive and kind with proper timing and degree. Here is a list of things to start making small changes:

• Assertive in the right situations

• Kind and compassionate within reason

• Resource provider within reason

• Able to set boundaries and say no

• Able to draw the line

• Able to call people out who are stepping over the line

The bottomline is to stand up for your opinions and values when appropriate, not be too predictable all the time, and honestly express who you are and what you want.